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Q&A With Garth

For the English version, please go to the bottom of the post.

Tyvärr så ser det inte ut som att Froggy har lust att komma snart… I går konstaterade barnmorskan att hon inte såg några tecken på att det var på G och på poängskalan där de mäter hur troligt det är att födseln ska börja naturligt fick vi en 2 av 12. 

Ganska dåliga odds det vill säga… Så nu ser det ut som att det blir igångsättning torsdag nästa vecka, vilket suger så himla mycket!

Dock har jag lyckats tjata till mig två ”stretch & sweep” till innan dess, på måndag och onsdag, så förhoppningvis kan vi få upp våra poäng lite mer så att det finns någon chans i alla fall.

Jag skulle ljuga om jag sa att det inte har blivit en tår eller två sedan i går… Det är jobbigt att ha gått från att vara helt 100% säker på att jag ville ha ett snitt, till att vilja försöka ha en vanlig födsel, gå så här mycket över tiden, bli igångsatt upp till i 72 timmar och sedan kanske sluta med snitt ändå. Jag hade kunnat ha en bebis här hos mig för två veckor sedan om jag hade följt min magkänsla.

Nu är det förstås inte säkert att det blir så, men jag har en känsla av att jag borde ha stått på mig från början.

För att liva upp stämningen lite här inne på bloggen (det finns ingen mening med att vi alla ska gräva ner oss) så frågade jag Garth om han kunde köra en liten Q&A nu i kväll i kommentarerna. Jag vet att ni är ganska många som har efterfrågat det.

Så om det är något ni vill fråga honom, släng iväg en kommentar nu, så svarar han tillbaka på samma ställe. Det behöver absolut inte vara gravid eller bebis-relaterat. Glöm inte att skriva på Engelska, han kan lite svenska, men inte mer än ”jag har pruttttt i min mage”, ”var ar kottet”, ”jivla helvete” och ”Jig komma hjem!”.

Under tiden kommer jag sitta på min jäkla pilatesboll, dricka sunkigt hallonbladsté och beklaga mig över hur mycket mina fötter värker efter vår 20 minuter långa promenad som jag har blivit tillsagd att ta varje dag nu. Äckliga dadlar har de gett mig att äta med… Men om en vecka är det över och då kommer allt det här att vara bortglömt.

For the English version, please click below.

 

Apparently Froggy has no interest in being born at all… The midwife yesterday saw no sign of labour being close and we scored a 2 out of 12 of how likely it would be a spontaneous labour.

So the odds are pretty much against us and it looks like I’m stuck her in preggo-land until Thursday when they will induce me. It really f*cking sucks!

I have however pestered them to give me two more ”stretch and sweep” before then, on Monday and Wednesday, to hopefully improve our score a bit for the induction.

I would lie if I said there haven’t been a few tears since yesterday… it’s really tough to have made the journey from wanting an elective c-section, to agreeing to try a natural birth, go this much over time, be induced for up to 72 hours and then possibly have to have the c-section anyway. I could have had our baby here two weeks ago if I would have listened to my own intuition.

Now I’m hoping this won’t be the case, but I have a feeling I should have stuck with my original plan.

To brighten the mood a bit here on the blog (no need for us all to get hormonal and depressed) I asked Garth to do a little Q&A in the comments tonight. I know quite a few of you have requested one. 

So if there is something you fancy asking Garth, write a comment and he will answer back in the same place It doesn’t have to have anything to do with baby-stuff at all.  

Meanwhile, I will be sitting on this bloody pilates ball, drink shitty raspberry leaf tea and complain about how much my feet hurt after our daily 20-minute walk we have been ordered by the midwife to do. They even gave me horrible dates to eat… 6 a day! But, in a weeks time, it will all be over and I will hopefully just get to forget all about this crap.

 

 

 

 

 

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36kommentarer
  • Hello Garth!
    How do you look at Tess when it comes to her mother? How do you, as a partner, see a person that has a background that is not ideal and how do you support her? I am sorry if I am making too private questions you guys but if you find it too private please try to answer as good as possible as it would be very helpful indeed.

    You will be lovely parents!
    Xxx

    Babbsan 2017-09-17 13:40:12
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  • Ta ett bad med clary sage olja! Kan köpas på neils yard x

    Johanna Persson 2017-09-16 22:59:03
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  • Tess! You’re such a star! Just think about how it will all be worth it when you have your baby <3

    To Garth: what is your favorite thing about Tess?
    What should I give to my bf for his 25th birthday? (I'm a student but I've saved up a bit for this one!)
    What is a weird fashion (for women) that most men don't like?

    Lots of love to both of you

    Matilda 2017-09-16 17:48:54
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    • Svar på Matildas kommentar.

      Hey Matilda.

      Tess is a fucking strong independent woman… she has taught me a lot about being respectful and how to truly love someone! She also loves adventure as much as I do so that is pretty key.

      As for your Boy… thinking back to when I was 25 – buy him a cheap flight somewhere – if you book it wisely it will be a bargain and go and have some fun somewhere random for the weekend. He wont expect it, but will love making new memories with you….unless he reads this …fuk… pretend you never saw this.

      Fashion…gota be honest, before I met Tess, I lived in short and flipflops and barely ever bought anything clothes wise unless I absolutely needed it or lost something. So I have no qualifications to comment on Fashion. However – Clear Jelly Sandals – WTF you aren’t 3yrs old.

      garth 2017-09-16 21:03:31
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  • Håll ut Tess!! Du klarar det, jag vet att det är astråkigt att vänta och ovissheten om när bebisen tänker komma är outhärdlig! Den som väntar på något gott….(väntar tyvärr alltid för länge :-)) . Massa styrkekramar tills Froggy tänker titta ut!! Sweep, naturlig väg, c-section – sjuksköterskorna o läkarna kommer göra vad som är bäst för er oavsett. Max 5 dagar men sen är hon/han här för resten av livet. Om en vecka kommer du känna dig som Superwoman!! Kram x

    Sandra 2017-09-16 11:50:09
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  • Jag snittades pga sätesbjudning. Det var inte det roligaste heller även om jag inte behövde gå över tiden. Man får ju inte gå upp ur sängen hela första dagen samtidigt som man förväntas bonda med sitt barn. Jag kunde inte heller vända på mig. Låg på rygg hela tiden i den superobekväma sjukhusängen.
    Fick ruyggyggont och liggsår i rumpan kändes det som. Gjorde ont att amma då det drog i stygnen pga att livmodern dras ihop när man ammar. Grät varje amning och inte av glädje, utn smärta i två till tre dygn. Förlåt för om jag verkar negtiv men det var min verklighet. Tyvärr verkar många romantisera snitt men det är inte en dans på rosor. Jag vet att det finns nackdelar med naturlig förlossning också. Kan du inte slappna av och låt ”ödet” bestämma lite? Svårt, jag vet. Men man kan inte kontrollera allt.

    I 2017-09-16 10:24:29
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    • Svar på Is kommentar.

      Förresten Tess, glämde skriva att jag har hört att man kan dra i sina bröstvårtor för att skynda på förlossningen. Google it!

      I 2017-09-16 10:43:09
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      • Svar på Is kommentar.

        nope – do not google ”pull your nipples ” without ”labour”

        but i’m on it. I got this one covered!

        garth 2017-09-16 21:35:51
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  • ❤️ Froggy, du är efterlängtad! Kom ut nu! Nä men skämt åsido, jag förstår hur det känns när en tanke om hur man vill ha sin förlossning byts ut abrupt pga omständigheter man inte kan råda över. Men allt jag kan säga är att när ni har bebisen i era armar så blir det ändå bra ❤️ Du verkar kämpa jättefint!

    Jeanette 2017-09-16 09:45:13
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  • Håll ut Tess! Snart, snart, snart har ni Froggy hos er!

    Bella 2017-09-16 08:51:37
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  • Kämpa på Tess! Förstår att det är jobbigt och frustrerande att inte veta hur och när er lilla skatt kommer. Men egentligen är det inget du kan göra som påverkar när det är dags så du har inte gjort något fel för att bebis inte är ute än. Du gör allt rätt och är stark som orkar med detta ❤
    Du kommer snart att få vara med om något helt fantastiskt som ej riktigt går att beskriva. Hur förlossningen blir spelar liten roll i det hela, du kommer att bli en fantastisk mamma ❤

    Stina 2017-09-16 08:10:20
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  • Kram på dig Tess! Snart är er bebis här och då är det Allt! Just nu kan någon annan nog inte ge några goda råd utan bör bara stötta dig så tolka detta som stöd: lägg fokus på dig själv och känn allt du känner, det är ok! xx

    Cecilia 2017-09-16 07:29:40
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  • Vad gillar Garth bäst med Sverige? Förutom att du är därifrån Så klart 😉

    Finns det något svenskt ord som Garth tycker är extra kul/märkligt/roligt att uttala?

    Emilia 2017-09-16 05:03:50
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    • Svar på Emilias kommentar.

      Hi Emilia.

      I love how in Sweden you get to have all of the seasons. You get all fun for each of the extremes. But you cannot beat being near to water all the time! I love the archipelago… we need to spend more time there!

      As for things that I can say in Swedish – most are not appropriate to repeat at the dinner table, but I do like to say them occasionally when we are out and about and watch Tess slap me and tell me to shhh – I hope we aren’t near too many Swedish people! But I better get learning fast, ”lilla Froggy” or ”lilla Fan” (because he’s taking so bloody long to come out) Tess will speak Swedish to, so I must learn to stop them having their own little secrets.

      garth 2017-09-16 21:13:25
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  • I loved reading this! You are such a good writer Garth and give such interesting and thoughtful answers!
    If I’m not too late with my question I would like to know more about your career, how you come to choose that path, what you do at work on a daily basis and thats the best and worst thing about it? I think it’s got something to do with construction (?) and I though you and Tess did such an amazing job renovation your place – looking forward to see what you do with your new place!
    Would you and Tess consider filming more videos together? I love seeing you together on snapchat, you just seem like such an awesome couple!

    Emma 2017-09-16 01:16:28
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    • Svar på Emmas kommentar.

      Hey Emma,

      That’s a lot of questions…

      Work – I fell into it completely by accident. I used to play rugby, professionally for a while, got a bad injury that ended my chances of playing again and spent alot of time rehabbing it. They club I played for London Wasps at the time, used to send injured player out to events, to dinners and to speak to corporate companies about what its like being a pro sportsman etc and about team bonding and ”winning” etc. I spent alot of time doing it that year. When the doctor told me I couldn’t play again, I was very fortunate to be offered a few opportunities, one of them was for a construction company. They put me through Uni and gave me special attention as I learnt how to be a Project Manager. After a 5 years at one place I was offered another opportunity at my current place, MMoser. I loved the design side of what i did as a PM and this place fits me perfect. My general roll if to coordinate the design teams, ensure the information we produce matches the clients brief and then turn the designs into reality onsite. Most of what I do now is problem solving and coordination… We have some guys that work onsite looking after everything and I look after a few projects together, usually the conduit between the client and production teams.

      Like any job, they have their ups and downs. I love the problem solving and I like finding clever ways around obstacles, but they can be stressful, especially when all the projects start and finish at the same time, right when you are having a baby…right when you don’t want to be at work…

      Videos and stuff together. I’m not a natural like Tess in front of the camera, would rather stay the other side. I really don’t know how these Vloggers and Bloggers do it. I would like to think I’m interesting but some days… I’m just a potato that likes to watch stupid videos about some rubbish or another on youtube… I could not handle the thought of keeping an active blog… maybe with the kid coming out… i might put more things up other than Olive looking pensive.

      garth 2017-09-16 21:31:59
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  • What was your first thought when you saw Tess for the first time? <3

    Annie 2017-09-15 23:05:32
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    • Svar på Annies kommentar.

      … this is not ”blog” appropriate…

      but lets just say that 7 years later, it’s still the same ;p

      garth 2017-09-16 00:12:16
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  • Förhoppningsvis kan du föda vaginalt ändå, det är bättre för både dig och Froggy, och din kropp återhämtar sig bättre. Snitt är FANTASTISKT när det inte funkar på nåt annat sätt, missförstå mig inte, men jag hoppas ändå att det går vägen med vaginal förlossning, för Garths skull också, så han kan vara med hela tiden (med eller utan prutt i magen).

    Sex,sex,sex, så kommer Froggy!

    Tw 2017-09-15 22:52:41
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    • Svar på Tws kommentar.

      Men gud vilken ohjälpsam kommentar. Såna här påståenden är inte evidensbaserade. Snitt är inte farligare eller sämre än vaginal förlossning. Och att säga att kroppen återhämtar sig bättre efter vaginal förlossning. Över 50% av kvinnor får förlossningsskador av att föda vaginalt. Låt folk föda vaginalt eller snitta, de är ungefär lika bra. Jag är själv läkare som jobbat på förlossning.

      C 2017-09-16 00:21:42
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    • Svar på Tws kommentar.

      Men.. HUR hjälper den där kommentaren?? Du späder ju bara på de saker som oroar henne.

      Oavsett hur Froggy kommer ut så så kommer hen ut och det kommer att bli bra!😊

      Det du oroar dig för är saker som skulle kunna ske, det är detsamma som att det är troligt att de sker. Men oavsett hur Froggy kommer ut så kommer det att bli bra, det spelar ingen roll hur. 72 timmars igångsätting med snitt är inte en garanti utan en liten, liten möjligen.

      Det finns fördelar och nackdelar med precis allt. Igångsättning kan vara bra och dåligt. Jag har haft både en bra och en dålig (våga säga ifrån till BM om det drar på för mycket! Eller se till att Garth vågar). Kejsarsnitt har sina fördelar och nackdelar. Men det har även vaginal förlossning. Det KAN ju också ta lång tid och sluta med kejsarsnitt.

      Det är ju helt omöjligt att veta om kejsarsnitt behövs i slutändan. Du ville ju ha det av skäl som hade att göra med att du är liten och din mamma behövde kejsarsnitt. Det har ingen koppling till att du gått över tiden så den magkänslan är ju ändå inte alls kopplad till hur det ser ut just nu. Att går över tiden är ju helt normalt. Gillar det något annan skrev i ett annat inlägg om att det borde vara ett ”förlossnings fönster” på några veckor. Förlossningsdatumet som man får är ju en ungefärlig beräkning. Det är så lätt att tänka ”om”. Men vad ger det egentligen? Snart har du Froggy här ändå 😊

      Annica 2017-09-16 00:20:33
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  • What are you looking forward to the most about being a dad? And what are you most nervous about? 🙂

    Therese 2017-09-15 22:48:53
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    • Svar på Thereses kommentar.

      Hej Therese.

      The thing I am most looking forward to is ”home-time.” I have such strong memories of when my Dad used to come home from work and we got to sped time playing and hanging out before bed time. I have fond memories of that and I cannot wait to make those moments special like my Dad used to. That and also maybe weekends, I have so many things to show our little Froggy about the world, there cannot be enough weekends for this in one lifetime!

      Nervous? I guess in some small way the usual things like how will I know when …. or I hope this is the right thing to do… or I hope they don’t pick up my bad habits… just the usual stuff. But we are very excited and this baby literally could not come out any sooner!!

      garth 2017-09-15 23:11:49
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      • Svar på garths kommentar.

        Thank you for sharing and good luck with your new life! 🙂 Exciting times ahead and I think you’ll be great parents! Take care of each other!

        Therese 2017-09-16 09:15:22
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  • Vet precis hur du känner både med snitt och överburen

    ”Tunnelbana till förlossning och vändningsförsök i vecka 42”

    Nathalie 2017-09-15 22:22:24 http://nouw.com/nkangas/
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  • Hejja! Det är ju verkligen upplopp nu, trots en lite seg målgång. Snart är ni där!
    What a fun idea! Do you plan on staying at home for a period of time with the baby, while Tess is working? Like the swedish ”föräldraledighet”? (You have to ask Tess for a translation of that one…)
    Kramar!

    Sofie 2017-09-15 22:20:46
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    • Svar på Sofies kommentar.

      Hej Sofie,

      Tough one…. so here in UK you only get 2 weeks of mandatory leave for the partner. Having never given it thought before now, it’s insane to imagine that anyone can think that 10 days is enough time to help your partner and new family member into this world! When you think of all the challenges you have in the first few weeks or months and that there is an expectation that the partner should return to work so quickly after… I don’t know it just doesn’t feel right.

      I am however one of the lucky ones, the company I work for has offered some ”loose” or ”flexible” working environments for us, and I will definitely be taking advantage of it. They has suggested that we can see how things go and I can choose how best to fit my work in and around the new addition to our family. I know it will probably be difficult on my side to find the right balance, but at least they have given me the opportunity to try it out.

      Aside from that there isn’t much legislative leave that you can take as ”föräldraledighet”, or certainly not anything that I have heard about before now. I must look into that just in case. But certainly is going to be difficult to get me not to take advantage of every opportunity I can get to be at home with our little family!

      Watch this space. 😉

      garth 2017-09-15 23:24:44
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      • Svar på garths kommentar.

        You gotta read this Garth! https://www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay – There is such a thing as shared parental leave in UK! It seems like you can actually split it and take 6 months each 🙂 It’s just a shame not many are aware of this and think there is no paternity leave in UK (maybe there’s a confusion between paternity and parental leave). I dont have any kids myself so dont know how it works really but I would look into it if you want to experience the first year with your child 🙂

        Angelica 2017-09-16 16:10:02 https://mindthelondoner.blogspot.co.uk/
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  • Håller alla tummar och tår! Många styrkekramar till er båda, snart har ni bebis och får påbörja ett helt nytt och fantastiskt liv! 🙂

    Antonia 2017-09-15 22:03:45
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  • How do you manage to have a balanced lifestyle with high qualified work, (a lot of) training, household, social life, rest, partner etc? I also work a lot, do crossfit (would like to work out more but work and sleep affects that), trying to take care of the social life etc. but I have a hard time balancing those without getting stressed, resulting in inefficiency and tiredness. Any good tips?

    Emily 2017-09-15 21:12:46
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    • Svar på Emilys kommentar.

      Hey Emily,

      Shit, that’s a tough one! I guess the first thing I would say is that everyone’s environment and situation is massively different. Can’t profess to be good at being balanced. But I definitely try.

      Family & Friends – The biggest thing for me, like most I’m sure, is fitting everything into such a short window. I like to be busy and am very guilty of taking on too much in fact and I often get myself in a situation where I end up mentally and physically drained. However, the biggest thing I have learnt over the last few years, was actually through Tess, and is making more time for ourselves. We have a rule that Sundays are OUR day. No matter what, we usually try not to plan things on Sundays and leave that just for us to enjoy time with each-other. Other than that I do often feel like I would like to see my Sister more, her kids, she has two now and another on the way – she is definitely way ahead of us on this one. I have come to recognise, I guess because we are about to have our own, how incredibly important it is to be in their lives, I need to get better at that…

      Then comes everything else.

      Training – the only way for me to fit this in, is early mornings – When I manage to make it to bed at a reasonable time, I usually try to get the training done early. I’m either asleep at 6am or I’m going to fit in the Training. that covers two birds, as we have such a good group of friends here at our Box and that way I get to mix and see good friends quite often.

      Work – the most important thing for me at work is being efficient – I try to spend as little time at work as possible, I love my job and the opportunities I have with it, but I also know that for me to be good at what I do I have to be efficient with my time. We can always do better in this environment and I often find myself in ”waves” of attention to work. Some months I an incredibly dedicated and others I take a step back and fill the time/effort with something else. I have come to understand what I am good at and what I’m not so good at and with knowing these bits I feel as though I have a good handle on what I have to do for my job. I don’t always get it right, but the idea is there at least.

      Social and everything else…. I guess same as the work thing… these go in waves… sometimes you need to get out and see your friends and just be. Sometimes you are quite happy just cuddling your dog on the sofa. Probably as we have got older and more comfortable in our own environments, and making sure that you aren’t wasting your time and energy in the wrong places, yeah of course we sometimes long to go and meet the boys for drinks, but there are also times when you just long to be in your own place… thing that works for me is definitely setting a few moments where you absolutely have to be there – weddings, some birthdays… that kind of thing. The rest… just do it if you feel like its worth it to you…

      I’m going to stop rambling now….

      garth 2017-09-15 23:47:31
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  • Det kommer sätta igång!! Håll uuuut inom kort är er bebis här <3

    Malin 2017-09-15 20:54:35
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  • It would be fun to hear your point of view on how you want to bring your Zimbabwian roots, traditions and culture to the baby. What is the most important from your background that you want to the baby to have?

    Me and my partner are in a similar situation as you and Tess, Im Swedish, he is English and we live in Spain with 2 kids. Before the kids arrived our backgrounds didnt matter that much to us in terms of our daily lives but as soon as I got pregnant more of those questions and thoughts came to the surface. 🙂

    Maria - Laga mat med barn 2017-09-15 20:37:38 http://www.cookingwithnoahandme.wordpress.com
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    • Svar på Maria - Laga mat med barns kommentar.

      Hej Maria,

      I KNOW! I have no idea what set this off but as soon as we got those two blue lines on all six of the tests we took, I have had this incredible longing for Africa. Everything, the smell of the bush, the sounds of the birds in the morning, the calm waters at sunrise when we used to go fishing with Dad and his buddies, making fires and just getting up to nonesence… everything about being back in Zim I miss soo incredibly. Tess and I has sooo many times looked at flights to have one more holiday back ”home” but then only to think… no we should do that with our children…. and its like s flood of memories when you play back all the scenarios of things that you remember as a kid growing up and how your family were and when we did this and that….

      Traditions… I don’t know… I grew up in such a fluid environment, we rolled with it and just got on with things, I remember always being around friends, my parents definitely used to party a lot, I guess why I like to surround myself with people always now… we grew up in a place where everyone’s door was always open, and if you pulled up and invited yourself round, it usually ended up with half the neighbourhood coming over and I hope that our kids learn that too… I want to feel like our door is always open and they there is always time for friends and family…

      How do you bring all ”that” into ”this”… I don’t know but it will be fun figuring it out. It’s tough to find the balance, Tess and I have such massively differing backgrounds and upbringings, what seems normal for one is beyond comprehension for another, but I guess in some small way that makes it interesting. We have talked soo much about the little things that we faced as kids and mini adults and how they have influenced us and shaped us into the weird and wonderful things we are now… for sure we have a few things that we will have to figure out together when its crunch time. The biggest thing that we have in this is understanding that there is a difference and that that’s actually okay.

      There are a thousand and one ways to get to your destination and each road there might take you down a different path and bring to you different challenges, some of those might test you and some might not, the important thing we have in our lives is knowing that we are both heading in the same direction and we know our destinations, if we haven’t figured them out just yet… it will be one super fun adventure getting there….

      this blogging stuff is deep.

      garth 2017-09-16 00:09:31
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      • Svar på garths kommentar.

        Love this answer! I’m sure lilla froggy will grow up to be as empathetic as both his/her parents!

        Michelle 2017-09-18 01:13:20
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